OMG, is that Leslie? She’s changed so much since high school! She must have lost 30 pounds… And here I am eating salads just trying to lose five. She was always so smart in school; she must be filthy rich now. And she’s married too! Ugh, look at all these likes. No one even cares about my Facebook or what I do. My life is so pathetic and boring.
It’s human nature to compare but a dark side emerges when I use others as a mirror or benchmark for what I think my life should be. And sadly, I do it all the time.
“No doubt about it! God is good—good to good people, good to the good-hearted. But I nearly missed it, missed seeing his goodness. I was looking the other way, looking up to the people at the top, envying the wicked who have made it” — Psalm 73:1-5
Our brains have a natural tendency to make comparisons as a system of developing logic and reasoning. And all the ways we compare ourselves to others are the same ways we find value in our lives. The negativity begins when we start pinning our happiness on how we measure up to others. The answer isn’t to stop making comparisons but to change the object of comparison to our creator.
Comparison puts focus on the wrong person. You can “control” one life—yours– but when we constantly compare ourselves to others, we waste precious energy focusing on other peoples’ lives rather than our own. This often leads to a miserable life resulting in resentment, jealousy, and bitterness. God says the way you change ungratefulness is by changing your perspective. And to change your perspective, the first thing you have to do is stop comparing yourself to others.
- Living in the Shadow of an academic sister?
- Never the athlete your brother was?
- Lacking the approval of your dad?
I think the reason we compare ourselves is because deep inside we are dissatisfied with who we are. Whether we feel good or bad we do it because things aren’t right inside of us. It is a heart issue. Comparison is a poisonous fruit of discontentment which admits that we are not satisfied with how God made us, that we are not happy with where he has placed us, and that we don’t appreciate the life He has ordained for us. If you are sitting here today, you are most likely not seeing his goodness. Your eyes are looking the wrong way.
If we will concentrate on becoming who God created us to be–instead of what we do or what we have–we will experience a sense of peace and security that will enable us to resist envy of what those around us are doing and receiving.
Reflection |
Are your eyes looking horizontal or vertical?